How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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