Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
