it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
