God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
