Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
