I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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