I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Are we still banned from the library?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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