Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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