hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
