i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
