I hate all girls vehemently.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
