i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
