This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
