I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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