I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
