You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
