i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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