I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
