handjob tips. give me some.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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