How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
