last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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