She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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