I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
