i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
