i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
