the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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