i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
