my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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