I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
