I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
our cab driver is having phone sex.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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