I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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