i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
