He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize