just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
