laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
