Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize