i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
