just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
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