winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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