Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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