So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize