I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Randomize
