Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
