What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize