Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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