I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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