Tell her she can't have a vagina
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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