There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
