Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
