And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
