I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
