It's Friday. Sex?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
