It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
