Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
please come you make the beer taste better
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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