no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
