and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
