just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize