he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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