I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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