I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
