I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
