Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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