yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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