it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
