this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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