McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
